Forum: HoseHeads Sprint Car General Forum (go)
Moderators: dirtonly  /  dmantx  /  hosehead

Subject: Fw: Rules of IOWA




-----------
>
> Rules of IOWA
> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
>
> 2. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a

> pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going
to
> get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
>
> 3. They are cattle. That's what they smell like to you. They smell
like
> money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-80 goes east and west, I-29 &
I-35 go
> north and south. Pick one.
> ??????????
> 4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000
combines
> that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
>
> 5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly.
> Try to understand the concep t.
>
> 6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in,
we
> WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to
your ear
> at the time.
>
> 7. Yeah, we eat Iowa pork chops & corn on the cob. You really want
sushi
> & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
>
> 8. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious
> holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
>
> 9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women,
regardless of
> age.
>
>
>
> 10. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak.
Or you
> can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
>
> 11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
> vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup!!
> ?
>
>
> 12. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet, and
served
> over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know
how to
> shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
>
> 13. College and high school basketball is as important here as the

> Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
>
> 14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards --
it
> spooks the fish.
>
> 15. Colleges? Try Iowa State University, University of Iowa, or
> University of Northern Iowa. They come outta there with an education plus
a love
> for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come
for
> the holidays.
>
> 16. We have lots of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
Marines, so
> 'Don't Mess with Iowa'. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
>
> Iowa is the greatest state ever!!
> If you are from Iowa, you are one bad hombre!!!

Save your butt, get a colon screening TODAY

For complete line of Sponsor Awards check out 
MarshallTownLaser.com

Duane Davis

Laser Engraving 
641-751-7777
101 N Center
Marshalltown, Iowa 

Mostly factual, but I consider the 'opener' in April and they only thing I'm going to kill then is a few more brain cells.

Savage

Rule #17 for Iowans: Quit calling your state "The Sprint Car Capitol of the World". You start racing 3 months after everyone out West, and quit 4 months before they do out West.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No matter where you go, there you are.

BUT

Iowa replaces Quanity with Quality

Save your butt, get a colon screening TODAY

For complete line of Sponsor Awards check out 
MarshallTownLaser.com

Duane Davis

Laser Engraving 
641-751-7777
101 N Center
Marshalltown, Iowa 

Duane,

Close but you have at least one mistake: the "opener" held on the Saturday closest to the first of November is PHEASANT season. Deer is in December, unless you hunt with a bow and then... oh, never mind.

Savage, do we hunt deer in Iowa with 3,000 LB hunks of steel, plastic and rubber?

Thats a fact and you should see the expressions on their cute little faces when they go splat... LOL!!! I've gotten 2 in the last 10 years, the motorcycle fatality rate is up a bunch due to deer hits but the bunny huggers don't want to thin the hurds.. Go figure!!!

Yes we do, dinger. I'd put a picture here if I knew how. Getting a new car this week. Maybe somethin good can come out of that 6-pointer.

Savage

16 reasons i don't live in iowa.

Really? All 16? That says alot about you.

Savage

yep cause we have all that plus.

by the way we drive our combines EVERY day. we have more military here than the whole population of iowa. we HUNT deer with our $60,000.00 cars. when mary jane comes to our house she is wearing hot pants and a halter top and brings her own damn coke. knoxville is nice but we have more than one dirt track to brag about. we FEED our cattle sushi and caviar, that is why they are "happy cows" lol. oh,and we don't have a list of stink'in rules. we do wtf we want.

How old are you?? If you feed your cattle sushi and caviar, you're not makin money. Run your combines EVERY day? I think not. You're not dealin with someone who doesn't know about Ca., sorry.

Savage

ok, so we feed our cattle corn too. but we grow it here. and you are correct we might not drive our combines EVERY day. we have to race sometimes. lol. point is our choices are abundant out here and we don't catagorize ourselves into a little box. we are diverse. we can snow ski in the morning and water ski in the afternoon. we can go out to eat without having to taste cigarette smoke in our food. we all don't eat sushi,caviar or the "vegitarian special", but we don't look down on those who do. we too open doors for women. even if they turn out to be men dressed as women. lmfao.

You get most of your corn from here, I sell it to you by train. You can knock any driver you want, but don't knock Iowa. We are proud of what we do and it's wholesome. I've laid off of you because I'm friends with Jac, but you and your 'team' have decided otherwise.

Savage

i haven't knocked iowa, yet. just pointed out we have most of the same things and more. you and nodust can post all you want about iowa, and i can counter post. duane's post seemed to take a shot at everyone who is not from iowa. so who is knocking who? my point is you can have everything duane posted about out here if you want it AND not be ridiculed if your tastes run different. i have nothing against iowa, just those who live there that think that makes them better than everyone else. i bet there are others who feel the same way but have not yet found a way to say it as nice as i have. so, if sticking up for my state and pointing out the benifits is taken as "knocking " your state by you i can't help that. and what makes you think we are not still friends with jac?

I don't wan't to get into to a big thing with you. (at least publicly) AIM savageraceway

Savage

aw come on. racin' season is pretty much over and we gotta have something to argue about. if not it is going to be a boring winter. if you would rather argue about t-mac we could do that instead. lol.

thank you for your insightfull email. i however feel no need to hide behind private email messages. also just exactly what is it that i have so wrongly done?