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Topic: Not a Joke; Actual Event... Off Topic
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Page 1 of 1 of 3 replies
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March 12, 2009 at
12:08:55 PM
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Joined:
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08/14/2007
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Posts:
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59
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Craig was walking home late one night, through Lions Park in Elk River, MN and sees a woman in the shadows.
"Twenty dollars" she whispers.
He's never been with a hooker before so he figures, "what the heck, it's only twenty bucks..."
So they hide in the bushes and are going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It's a police officer.
"What's going on here?" he asks.
"I'm making luff to my wife," Craig answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry" says the cop. "I didn't know."
"Vell," says Craig, "Neither did I until you flashed that damn light in her face."
Race the car three races. If you don't like it , for
any reason, return it, without damage, and we'll
refund all your money, build you a new car, or better
yet, bring me someone else's design and I'll use that
to build your next ride!
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March 12, 2009 at
12:46:57 PM
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Joined:
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11/26/2004
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Posts:
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3334
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The Global Facts ... At Any Given
Moment:
FACT:
79,000,000 people are engaged in sex right
now.
FACT:
58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT:
37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex..
FACT:
1 old timer is reading emails.
You hang in there sunshine........
Save your butt, get a colon screening TODAY
For complete line of Sponsor Awards check out
MarshallTownLaser.com
Duane Davis
Laser Engraving
641-751-7777
101 N Center
Marshalltown, Iowa
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March 12, 2009 at
12:54:23 PM
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Joined:
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11/26/2004
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Posts:
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3334
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Man, I'll tell ya, women can be cold until the end!
>
> The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got
some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your
affairs in order.'
>
> The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and
walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been
waiting.
>
> 'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good,
and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case,
things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the
club and have a martini.'
>
> After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less
somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were
eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends,
who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
>
> The woman told her friends they were drinking to her
impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'
>
> The friend s were aghast, gave the woman their condolences
and beat a hasty retreat.
>
> After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and
whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of
cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of
AIDS! Why did you do that??'
>
> 'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with
your father after I'm gone.'
>
> And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your
Affairs In Order.'
Save your butt, get a colon screening TODAY
For complete line of Sponsor Awards check out
MarshallTownLaser.com
Duane Davis
Laser Engraving
641-751-7777
101 N Center
Marshalltown, Iowa
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March 12, 2009 at
02:23:48 PM
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Joined:
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02/06/2009
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Posts:
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388
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Reply to:
Posted By: nodust on March 12 2009 at 12:54:23 PM
Man, I'll tell ya, women can be cold until the end!
>
> The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got
some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your
affairs in order.'
>
> The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and
walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been
waiting.
>
> 'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good,
and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case,
things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the
club and have a martini.'
>
> After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less
somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were
eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends,
who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
>
> The woman told her friends they were drinking to her
impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'
>
> The friend s were aghast, gave the woman their condolences
and beat a hasty retreat.
>
> After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and
whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of
cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of
AIDS! Why did you do that??'
>
> 'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with
your father after I'm gone.'
>
> And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your
Affairs In Order.'
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Eldery Mr. Davis goes to see his doctor one morning and his doctor says "Well Mr. Davis I have some bad news you have cancer and alzheimers." Mr. Davis replies "Well at least I don't have cancer."
More weight, more regulation, more similarity in the
cars.... that will ensure plenty of thrills for years
to come. Only the most average talent behind the
wheel will be needed with such awesome equipment on
the track!
minthess 8.28.14
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