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Topic: Need an opinion about etiquette on dm's and public media Email this topic to a friend | Subscribe to this TopicReport this Topic to Moderator
Page 1 of 1   of  19 replies
Jaybo777
August 17, 2019 at 05:43:42 PM
Joined: 10/04/2008
Posts: 15
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I was on a family trip a couple weeks ago and the way I made it work was going to roll right into Knoxville on Saturday of the 360 Nationals. To do that I had to leave from near Denver that Saturday morning. Having never been to Knoxville I had already called the hall of fame to see hours and parking and all that and had that all arranged. Wife isnt a race fan so all I could do is tour hall of fame, and walk around track and get a shirt or two.

I knew a certain driver was there and made the A main and was on my FB friends list. Being from many states away I have never been close enough to meet. So I had my wife send a msg asking to meet up before the races started at the Hall of fame or their t shirt trailer. We could take family pics and bs for a while before we had to go and race night started. Messege has still never been read, The person liked other posts on FB. I looked for said tshirt trailer still when I was at Knoxville but couldnt find it. I wont name driver. 

 

My question is this. is it cool to just straight ignore people? or am i just really really stupid to think in this day and age people are glued to phones and would respond, I am genuinly upset about this maybe more because the thousands at knoxville and i knew not one person who could get one message out. 

 




TommyTipover
August 17, 2019 at 05:53:37 PM
Joined: 12/01/2004
Posts: 29
Reply

>>So I had my wife send a msg asking to meet up before the races started at the Hall of fame or their t shirt trailer. We could take family pics and bs for a while before we had to go and race night started.<<

Honestly, I think that's a tad creepy and asking an awful lot of a driver. 

 



SprintFan16
MyWebsite
August 17, 2019 at 06:11:48 PM
Joined: 05/03/2007
Posts: 1486
Reply

Asking a little much, imo. Also, was this a driver's personal page or a team/driver public page? Feel like you'd have had better luck posting or tweeting on those. 




DakotaDude
August 17, 2019 at 06:24:38 PM
Joined: 12/19/2010
Posts: 228
Reply

I agree that it’s asking a bit much of a driver. I have always figured that, unless it’s a scheduled autograph deal or said driver happens to be in his t shirt trailer before the races, that it’s best to leave them alone. They are there to do their job (I know I know, part of their job is to interact with fans) and are “working”. Their time for the fans, unless otherwise stated, is after the checkered flag falls. I think that’s why you see so many people say negative things about interactions with drivers...they were approached when they were working. I’ve never had a bad interaction with a driver, Schatz included as I hear a fair amount say negative things, but I always choose my timing to when there’s a much better chance of a good experience. Just put yourself in their shoes and use a little common sense.....JMO. 



linbob
August 17, 2019 at 06:57:35 PM
Joined: 03/12/2011
Posts: 1307
Reply
Reply to:
Posted By: TommyTipover on August 17 2019 at 05:53:37 PM

>>So I had my wife send a msg asking to meet up before the races started at the Hall of fame or their t shirt trailer. We could take family pics and bs for a while before we had to go and race night started.<<

Honestly, I think that's a tad creepy and asking an awful lot of a driver. 

 



Yes, a little creepy.  You have no idea where driver was.  They are thinking about a dozen things and many 360 drivers help prepare cars.   I would probably post to you, sorry I can not meet up with you,  Thank you for your interest.  Drivers are more likely to talk to you after races than before.



Jaybo777
August 17, 2019 at 09:24:30 PM
Joined: 10/04/2008
Posts: 15
Reply
Reply to:
Posted By: DakotaDude on August 17 2019 at 06:24:38 PM

I agree that it’s asking a bit much of a driver. I have always figured that, unless it’s a scheduled autograph deal or said driver happens to be in his t shirt trailer before the races, that it’s best to leave them alone. They are there to do their job (I know I know, part of their job is to interact with fans) and are “working”. Their time for the fans, unless otherwise stated, is after the checkered flag falls. I think that’s why you see so many people say negative things about interactions with drivers...they were approached when they were working. I’ve never had a bad interaction with a driver, Schatz included as I hear a fair amount say negative things, but I always choose my timing to when there’s a much better chance of a good experience. Just put yourself in their shoes and use a little common sense.....JMO. 



Again I didnt have the opportunity to stay after the races.  14 hour drive straight there, no idea who is doing what where. You all say creepy, guess my family and I are creepy then. I had a 30 minute window to see hall of fame and grab shirts and take pics.  This is why I asked here. I appreciate you guys input.

 

I did try to put myself in their shoes, and my families. It killed me not to see a race at Knoxville.




RodinCanada
MyWebsite
August 17, 2019 at 09:40:50 PM
Joined: 07/24/2016
Posts: 923
Reply

I dont think anyone is saying your family is creepy. You mentioned today's world and a sad reality is there are creepy people who mess up the trust and true  kindness of the rest. Your intention may not have been suspect but after several bad encounters drivers may naturally and rightfully close off those opportunities simple for their own peace and safety. I doubt very much the driver researched who you were and decide that you are a risk or a time waster. 


Even though I may not know you, I 
care what most of you think!

Points
August 17, 2019 at 10:03:28 PM
Joined: 12/01/2004
Posts: 223
Reply

If you sent me a facebook message I may not see it for days if ever. No smartphone for me. I only look at it when home on computer. Some drivers are in to the social thing, remember Brad K tweeting from the car in Nascar. Some I bet do not monitor it before a race. Not sure how close you are to this driver but from your post it looks like someone just clicked a friend request and you really have never talked ever. thats the impression I get. No driver or anyone for that matter would likely do a meet like that. If you guys are actually really good friends you maybe should of reached out days before.

If I wanted to meet a driver that I did not know I would go into the pits after the race. Thats the best and easiest way. Most drivers will have a few minutes for you. Small talk, picture, autograph.

Sorry this did not work out for you. You should of put your wife up in a nice hotel and gone to the race and met him after.



oswald
August 18, 2019 at 02:48:38 AM
Joined: 11/30/2004
Posts: 1800
Reply

I message my favorite driver and it often takes 2 or 3 days to hear back. ASCS national tour team and very busy. I never message or expect to receive a message on race day. Especially at a really big show like Knoxville. And this driver is someone I know well. If the driver does not know you personally from previous meetings they may not respond especially on race day. Saturday of the 360 Nationals many teams were in the pits early because they had to unload and take the rigs out.




StanM
MyResults MyPressRelease
August 18, 2019 at 08:50:53 AM
Joined: 11/07/2006
Posts: 4689
Reply
Reply to:
Posted By: Jaybo777 on August 17 2019 at 05:43:42 PM

I was on a family trip a couple weeks ago and the way I made it work was going to roll right into Knoxville on Saturday of the 360 Nationals. To do that I had to leave from near Denver that Saturday morning. Having never been to Knoxville I had already called the hall of fame to see hours and parking and all that and had that all arranged. Wife isnt a race fan so all I could do is tour hall of fame, and walk around track and get a shirt or two.

I knew a certain driver was there and made the A main and was on my FB friends list. Being from many states away I have never been close enough to meet. So I had my wife send a msg asking to meet up before the races started at the Hall of fame or their t shirt trailer. We could take family pics and bs for a while before we had to go and race night started. Messege has still never been read, The person liked other posts on FB. I looked for said tshirt trailer still when I was at Knoxville but couldnt find it. I wont name driver. 

 

My question is this. is it cool to just straight ignore people? or am i just really really stupid to think in this day and age people are glued to phones and would respond, I am genuinly upset about this maybe more because the thousands at knoxville and i knew not one person who could get one message out. 

 



There are some people out in cyberland who belong to Facebook but for whatever reason don't use messenger.  I have had others do that same thing and when it came up in conversation they weren't using messenger.  I would start with the simplest explanation and work my way through the list of possible reasons from there.  They're incredibly busy and there are a lot of demands on their time during Nationals so asking them to be somewhere at a specific time to meet a fan might be a bit out of the ordinary and I wouldn't expect them to drop everything.  I'm in the same situation with my wife not being a racing fan and she would never sit through one.  After the races is usually always the best time barring a crash or bad break while they were running well.


Stan Meissner

StanM
MyResults MyPressRelease
August 18, 2019 at 08:59:49 AM
Joined: 11/07/2006
Posts: 4689
Reply
This message was edited on August 18, 2019 at 09:01:36 AM by StanM

PS, the first time I went to Knoxville was in the early 80's on the way home from a Colorado Springs family reunion.  I timed it so I could get a motel room as close as possible to the track and dropped off the wife and younger kids at the room.  They had the pool and my son and I got to go to our first Knoxville race.  That was my "just passing through" strategy and it has led me and my now adult son to a couple of Nationals and many red-eye drives for single night trips from where we live 300 miles north of Knoxville.  wink


Stan Meissner

egras
August 18, 2019 at 09:18:02 AM
Joined: 08/16/2009
Posts: 2746
Reply
Reply to:
Posted By: Jaybo777 on August 17 2019 at 05:43:42 PM

I was on a family trip a couple weeks ago and the way I made it work was going to roll right into Knoxville on Saturday of the 360 Nationals. To do that I had to leave from near Denver that Saturday morning. Having never been to Knoxville I had already called the hall of fame to see hours and parking and all that and had that all arranged. Wife isnt a race fan so all I could do is tour hall of fame, and walk around track and get a shirt or two.

I knew a certain driver was there and made the A main and was on my FB friends list. Being from many states away I have never been close enough to meet. So I had my wife send a msg asking to meet up before the races started at the Hall of fame or their t shirt trailer. We could take family pics and bs for a while before we had to go and race night started. Messege has still never been read, The person liked other posts on FB. I looked for said tshirt trailer still when I was at Knoxville but couldnt find it. I wont name driver. 

 

My question is this. is it cool to just straight ignore people? or am i just really really stupid to think in this day and age people are glued to phones and would respond, I am genuinly upset about this maybe more because the thousands at knoxville and i knew not one person who could get one message out. 

 



This is one of the oddest posts I have ever read.  No offense, but I thought you were joking at first.

 

Since you are just trying to get opinions, I'll give you mine.  I would never, ever, make a request of a driver like this.  I limit all interaction with drivers to a minimum.  The more you press, the more disappointed you will be in their responses.  They typically respond well to people who keep their space, and not so well to those that don't.  

For example:  When you are at a driver's souvenier trailer and they are signing autographs, that is a great time to attempt to carry on a conversation.  If it doesn't feel like they want to talk, leave them be.  There may be more going on in their world than you realize.   When you are walking down the sidewalk, at the Casey's across the street, or near their race car while work is going on, keep interactions to a minimum.  "Go get 'em tonight ..........."  "great job last night............"  and so on.  Don't expect a lot of interaction and you will not set yourself up for disappointment.

So, to summarize, you Facebook messaging a driver, the morning of the 360 Nationals finale, and not getting a response is very over the top to me.  But that is my opinion. 

I hope you have an opportunity to meet him someday at his hauler or trailer and can have a great conversation with him---just don't go about it that way next time is all.

 




fiXXXer
August 18, 2019 at 12:13:04 PM
Joined: 10/26/2014
Posts: 2077
Reply
Reply to:
Posted By: Jaybo777 on August 17 2019 at 05:43:42 PM

I was on a family trip a couple weeks ago and the way I made it work was going to roll right into Knoxville on Saturday of the 360 Nationals. To do that I had to leave from near Denver that Saturday morning. Having never been to Knoxville I had already called the hall of fame to see hours and parking and all that and had that all arranged. Wife isnt a race fan so all I could do is tour hall of fame, and walk around track and get a shirt or two.

I knew a certain driver was there and made the A main and was on my FB friends list. Being from many states away I have never been close enough to meet. So I had my wife send a msg asking to meet up before the races started at the Hall of fame or their t shirt trailer. We could take family pics and bs for a while before we had to go and race night started. Messege has still never been read, The person liked other posts on FB. I looked for said tshirt trailer still when I was at Knoxville but couldnt find it. I wont name driver. 

 

My question is this. is it cool to just straight ignore people? or am i just really really stupid to think in this day and age people are glued to phones and would respond, I am genuinly upset about this maybe more because the thousands at knoxville and i knew not one person who could get one message out. 

 



To be honest, if someone made such a request to me, I'd ignore it too. I understand you had the best of intentions but if I were that driver, I'd find it highly suspicious and I'd not know what to think. You kind of came across as a stalker. 



Kingpin2014
MyWebsite
August 18, 2019 at 02:25:18 PM
Joined: 06/20/2017
Posts: 339
Reply
This message was edited on August 18, 2019 at 02:29:01 PM by Kingpin2014

Lmao this gotta be satire right? Man imagine feeling that entitled as the OP of the post is. How dare that driver not go completely out of his way on one of his biggest racedays to placate this guy.



J&J
August 19, 2019 at 12:11:34 AM
Joined: 08/17/2012
Posts: 269
Reply
Reply to:
Posted By: egras on August 18 2019 at 09:18:02 AM

This is one of the oddest posts I have ever read.  No offense, but I thought you were joking at first.

 

Since you are just trying to get opinions, I'll give you mine.  I would never, ever, make a request of a driver like this.  I limit all interaction with drivers to a minimum.  The more you press, the more disappointed you will be in their responses.  They typically respond well to people who keep their space, and not so well to those that don't.  

For example:  When you are at a driver's souvenier trailer and they are signing autographs, that is a great time to attempt to carry on a conversation.  If it doesn't feel like they want to talk, leave them be.  There may be more going on in their world than you realize.   When you are walking down the sidewalk, at the Casey's across the street, or near their race car while work is going on, keep interactions to a minimum.  "Go get 'em tonight ..........."  "great job last night............"  and so on.  Don't expect a lot of interaction and you will not set yourself up for disappointment.

So, to summarize, you Facebook messaging a driver, the morning of the 360 Nationals finale, and not getting a response is very over the top to me.  But that is my opinion. 

I hope you have an opportunity to meet him someday at his hauler or trailer and can have a great conversation with him---just don't go about it that way next time is all.

 



Great reply zebras, loved the part when near the driver at hauler, great job last night or good luck tonight�� Couldn’t of said it better

 

fams need to realize that these are the drivers jobs especially Outlaws  all stars etc. they may have a huge load for the days if the Nationals. Autograph sessions at trailers or the barn or hall of fame. Interviews with winged nation . Sponsors who may fly in once a year and these drivers need to spend tine with them, talk over olans and strategies with their crew.

 

But what I did respect was the gentmean did not bash or throw the drivers name out.. To send a DM is very private it likes calling someone you hardly know. Please respect their privacy. Go see them in the pits after a race. I am sure they will take photos with you then!




egras
August 19, 2019 at 08:57:52 AM
Joined: 08/16/2009
Posts: 2746
Reply
Reply to:
Posted By: J&J on August 19 2019 at 12:11:34 AM

Great reply zebras, loved the part when near the driver at hauler, great job last night or good luck tonight�� Couldn’t of said it better

 

fams need to realize that these are the drivers jobs especially Outlaws  all stars etc. they may have a huge load for the days if the Nationals. Autograph sessions at trailers or the barn or hall of fame. Interviews with winged nation . Sponsors who may fly in once a year and these drivers need to spend tine with them, talk over olans and strategies with their crew.

 

But what I did respect was the gentmean did not bash or throw the drivers name out.. To send a DM is very private it likes calling someone you hardly know. Please respect their privacy. Go see them in the pits after a race. I am sure they will take photos with you then!



Good point with seeing them in the pits after.  Ever notice how the drivers are of a COMPLETELY different mindset once their job is done for the night?  If they brought the car back in one piece, many drivers are all smiles, and very approachable, for their fans.  



MSPN
August 19, 2019 at 09:45:46 AM
Joined: 11/23/2004
Posts: 3880
Reply

I shot photos for about 15 years and toured around a whole bunch, averaging over 100 races a year.  I also got to know many, many drivers through my work and friendship and there was a common denominator that they all had.  A fan that comes on tooooo strong, this made the majority of them a bit leery.  The drivers were generally the best group of guys anyone could imagine, the vast majority of them would help out, give out or do anything for their racefans, they are above special. 

Some of the rude and ignorant things I saw after the races would have turned me against the fans a whole lot quicker than most of them did.  Nobody is more ignorant than a drunk with all that liquid courage going to tell his hated driver when he thinks of him, I honestly can't believe a whole lot more were not knocked senseless, they (drivers) had more patience than I have ever had!  Sammy in particular, had he been Steve Kinser or Terry McCarl's size he would have heard a lot less from these clowns.

Your request is just a bit out of the norm and your timing was about as bad as it could be, their biggest race of the year, I don't think so, out of his way to go and meet with you, I don't think so.  This is certainly not a reflection on him and your unfamiliarity with the sport's ways does not mean you are a bad guy either, some things are just that way and the final night of the 360 Nationals is one of them.  Good luck the next time, hopefully you understand the issue and situation a lot better now and will plan accordingly, Enjoy!!!



cmakin
MyWebsite
August 20, 2019 at 07:44:52 AM
Joined: 12/07/2005
Posts: 3730
Reply

I am real friends with a lot of drivers, and FB friends with a few more.  I don't know that I would ever message one that I didn't know outside of FB. . . but that is just me. . . . 


www.manvelmotorsports.com


egras
August 20, 2019 at 09:13:40 AM
Joined: 08/16/2009
Posts: 2746
Reply
Reply to:
Posted By: on at


Try to say "hi" or get eye contact with 90% of the Nascar drivers and see how that works out------let alone try to schedule a meet and greet.  



dirtonly
MyWebsite
August 20, 2019 at 09:40:08 AM
Joined: 12/01/2004
Posts: 19
Reply

Having crewed on a big time 410sprint car team for 4 years and having been to big time races, but not Knoxville (by choice as i had another job), I can tell you that no one has anytime for anything unless it is related to the race or family. Many times you will see trackside posts by a driver that actually are coming from a significant (wife/GF) other, a son, a daughter, or an assigned pr person.

Even if something like a meet up is agreed to, remembering to be there with all else that is going on is difficult if not impossible. Many drivers were out and about Knoxville and interacted with fans appropriately where ever they were encounterd., others just sort of hunkered down trying to deal with the stresses.

It's tough trying to integrate non-race fans with a fan trip, so if there is a next time plan differently and perhaps a different venue.


" I was so loose out there that  could hardly get back
in line for the restart", Bobby Allen circa 1988



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