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Dear Tech Support,
>
> Last year I upgraded from Girlffriend 5.0
> to Wife1.0 and noticed a
> distinct slow down in overall system
> performance - particularly in the
> sex and pampering applications, which
> operated flawlessly under
> Girlfriend 5.0.
>
> In addition, Wife 1.0 uninstalled many
> other valuable programs, such as
> Blowjobs 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5
> and then installed undesirable
> programs such as Nagging 5.0, Bitching 3.0,
> and Lifetime 4.1.
>
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and
> Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
> system. I've tried running Beer Drinking 5.3 to
> fix these problems, but to no
> avail.
>
> What can I do?
> Signed, Lance
>
>
> ....................................................................
>
> Dear Lance,
>
> First keep in mind, Girlfriend 5.0 is an
> Entertainment Package, while
> Wife 1.0 is an Operating System.
>
> Please enter the command: "http: I
> Thought You Loved Me.html" and try to
> download Football 6.2 and don't forget to
> install the Golf 3.0 update. If
> that application works as designed,
> Wife 1.0 should then automatically
> run the applications Sex 2.0 and
> Blowjobs 3.5.
>
> But remember, overuse of the above
> application can cause Wife 1.0 to
> default to Grumpy 2.5, Stupid Whore 7.0
> or Nagging Bitch 6.1. Nagging Bitch 6.1 is a
> very bad program that will download the
> Screaming Loudly Beta.
>
> Whatever you do, DO NOT install
> Your-Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the
> background that will eventually seize
> control of all your system
> resources).
>
> Also, do not attempt to reinstall the
> Girlfriend 5.0 program. These are
> unsupported applications and will crash
> Wife 1.0.
>
> In summary, Wife 1.0 is what you get!
>Sucker!
>Tech Support
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